Oh, dude, please turn that off.
Seth.
Shh. I'm sleeping.
Please tell me you weren't up watching movies all night.
I wasn't, man.
Just Darkman and Hellboy, and the first two Matrixes.
Er, M-Matrices.
What's the plural of matrix?
Here.
It's coffee.
Mmm...
Ooh.
You need to get in the shower. We got school.
Took a shower yesterday.
No, you didn't. I took a shower
the day before yesterday. I'm making you a bagel.
No. You need to eat.
My body will tell me when it needs food.
Just like it's telling you when it needs a shower?
Do you not see what's going on here?
Yes, you're wallowing. You've been wallowing since San Diego,
and enough's enough. No, I'm not wallowing, Ryan.
I'm agonizing. The two are vastly different.
Really? Yeah.
See, wallowing,
that's like lounging around,
eating ice cream, watching, uh, VH1.
But agonizing, it's more like MTV2, okay?
It's no frills.
Requires discipline, days of no sleep, no food.
No showering?
Just sitting there,
thinking and wondering hour after hour
if Zack and Summer... Don't.
...had sex in the hotel room right next to mine.
And you did. Amazing.
Ryan, they spent the night in the room right beside mine.
How can I not wonder if they had sex?
Because it's pointless, and you can obsess about it
for the rest of your life, and you'll never really know.
Yeah. No, you're right. Of course, you're right.
I have to let it go,
'cause there's no way I will ever know...
unless I ask Summer.
What? Yeah, came to me last night during Hellboy.
See, it's the uncertainty that's killing me, Ryan?
It won't be the uncertainty killing you
if you ask Summer. No...
No, Seth, you can't ask her. It's weird, it's creepy,
and it's none of your business.
You're right.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Just like asleep or something.
I'll ask Zack.
Have you seen Seth? Oh, I've smelled him.
Smells like teen spirit to me.
Well, I tried talking to him,
but he just shared this long-winded review
about some movie called Hellboy?
Well, that sounds like lady drama.
Well, there seems to be a lot of that going around.
So, still not ready
to forgive and forget.
Understood.
Well...
I'd better go and pay my respects to Max.
You want some company?
Some more company?
I...
I don't think that'd be such a good idea.
Well, Max Bloom was important to you, so he's important to me.
I would be happy to go to his service.
Oh, there's not gonna be a service.
What? Well,
Rebecca could never go.
The Feds'd be there waiting for her.
It's just gonna be the two of us.
The two of you?
Look, I...
I-I...I know it sounds a little weird.
Beyond weird, Sandy.
Please just hang in there a little longer.
Please.
Give my condolences to Rebecca.
I'm gonna see why my dad keeps calling.
Maybe I can help him with his lady drama.
Don't tell me to calm down.
You're the one rushing into this.
For God's sake, Cal, you almost died.
Should be seeing a therapist,
not making rash, life-altering decisions.
Thank you, Julie. That is quite enough. Kirsten.
No, it's not.
Lindsay. Hey.
Uh, Caleb called me last night and asked me to come over.
Do you know what this is about? Uh, no.
It'll be enough when you finally start listening to me.
Maybe we should go into my off... Lindsay...
Kirsten, please.
Thank you both for coming.
Dad, maybe we should come back.
No, that's unnecessary.
Julie and I are finished.
I asked you to come here
because I want to tell you--
uh, as long as Lindsay agrees to it--
um, I would like to
formally adopt her.
Oh, my God.
Dad, that's... I'm speechless.
Well, you may ask, "Why now? Isn't it kind of sudden?"
Yeah.
Well, actually, it's quite the opposite.
After my heart attack,
I realized that something could happen to me at any time.
This way, Lindsay will be a legal heir, and I'll know that
she'll always be taken care of.
And I told you you have nothing to worry about.
I will take care of her.
I saw that, Kirsten.
This is about more than financial security.
All through my illness, you stood by me.
Now it's my turn.
I would be proud to tell the world that I'm your father.
I don't know what to say.
It's a big step,
but should you decide you want to take it,
I think a party would certainly be in order.
Don't you, JuJu?
If you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
Welcome to the family, Lindsay.
Hey, man.
Hey.
Seth, how are you doing?
Good. Good. Fantastic.
So listen, I know
we haven't had a chance to talk since San Diego,
and I figured I would take
this opportunity to clear the air.
You know, don't worry about it.
You, me, Summer working on a comic book together,
it's probably not the best idea in the first place.
Absolutely. I couldn't agree more.
And this way, you know, we can still be friends, so...
Exactly. Yeah.
So, you guys have a...
good time the rest of the weekend?
Yeah, you know, we had a great time.
Great. Yeah.
Great. Glad to hear it.
So, what, I'm guessing, a couple of meals,
uh, a trip to Sea World, maybe a trip to the zoo,
a little sex.
What? What?
Is that a yes?
Seth. What?
You can tell me. You don't even have to vocalize it.
Just blink once if you did.
What are you doing?
Nothing. I'm just making conversation.
Oh. Because I thought you were trying to figure out
if Summer and I had sex in San Diego.
What?
I would never do that.
That's totally creepy an-and boundary crossing,
and I would never do that.
Good.
I gotta go to class. Zack, Zack, Zack just wait a second.
Seth, go home and get some rest.
Seriously.
It meant a lot to him that you were trying to help me,
but now that he's gone, you don't need to try.
I am gonna help you with your case.
Tomorrow, I'll meet with the guy I know at the FBI.
Things are finally happening.
But we've got to let go of the past,
and focus on your future.
What happened the other night...
it can't happen again.
I know.
I understand.
He always wanted to be scattered over the ocean.
Well...
Newport Beach is honored to have him.
Good-bye, Dad.
You're not going to believe this.
My dad wants to adopt me.
What?
He told Kirsten and me this morning.
Isn't that great?
Yeah, it's great.
Ooh, you don't think so. No, I just,
I thought it's a little fast.
Well, I know, and he totally admitted that we still have
a lot of work to do, but...
he was so sweet about wanting to provide for me
and have everyone know he was my dad.
And it was amazing.
Sounds it.
Was, uh, was Julie there?
Yeah. You should have seen the look she gave me,
like I was some scheming fortune hunter.
Well, that's what she understands.
Why should I care?
It's not like she's adopting me.
No, it's just you don't want Julie Cooper as an enemy.
And I say that, having had Julie Cooper as an enemy.
So you don't think I should do it?
No, I didn't say that.
Ryan, I have been dreaming of this my whole life,
that I'd-I'd find my dad,
and he'd really want to be my dad.
I mean, that's what matters, right?
Yeah.
Thank you.
That means a lot.
Mrs. Cohen?
Yes. Can I help you?
We're Agents Stonerock and Tudor from the FBI.
Do you have a minute?
Hey.
Don't you know you're not supposed to sneak up on people?
Oh, yeah? Why's that?
Because they might be angry.
So, my friends are coming down this weekend,
and I was gonna have a little party.
Wow, how very Newport of you.
Well, I was thinking that maybe you would want to invite Summer.
Sure. Okay.
Oh, no. You haven't told her about us, have you?
I was going to.
It's... I don't...
I just assumed 'cause she's your best friend,
but it's no big deal.
You've got to wait till you're ready.
I'm ready, okay?
Like you said, she's my best friend.
I tell her everything.
Just make sure your party doesn't suck, okay?
Hey.
Do we have guests?
Special Agent Jill Stonerock.
The FBI was here.
Well, it wouldn't be the Cohen house
if there wasn't a visit from someone in law enforcement.
What'd you tell them?
So now you're cross-examining me?
I told them Professor Bloom came here two weeks ago
and asked you to clear Rebecca's name.
That's it?
You mean did I tell them
where Rebecca is staying? ¸وثكثûأاRebeccaدضشع×،شعؤؤہï?
No, I did not.
I'm protected because I'm her lawyer.
But if you withhold information, you're obstructing justice.
You could be prosecuted.
Are you worried about me withholding information
or telling them too much?
It's not a choice between protecting you
and protecting Rebecca.
Oh, I think it is. And I think you made that choice
What is it, Julie? I have a lot of work to do.
We need to talk about this.
If you mean about my adopting Lindsay,
I think you've made your position very clear.
Oh, you mean that I seem to be
the only one trying to protect you.
As I recall, after my heart attack,
it was Lindsay at my bedside, you were at a spa in Nice.
You can hold that against me
for the rest of our lives,
but I am not going to let you rush into this.
Now, for starters,
and this may be painful,
you need to redo the paternity test.
The medical advancements in the past...
There was no paternity test.
What?
There was no need.
You're kidding.
Do I need to tell you
how transparent your motives are?
After all the money you've paid out over these years,
with no proof?
I just thought you were a better businessman than that.
Renee is an honest woman.
The kind of honest woman who has an affair with a married man?
Look, Lindsay probably is your daughter,
but don't you think you have a responsibility
to this family you're sure about, before diving into this?
I'll think about it.
That's all I wanted.
Hey, so you never told me how San Diego was.
Two nights in a hotel?
Hmm.
Well, let's just say, little Zach is full of surprises.
Well, I see.
And I feel really bad I left you alone on Valentine's.
What kind of friend am I?
Oh, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Actually, I wasn't alone.
What? Have you been holding out on me?
Who were you with?
No, no, I was, uh...
I was with my mom.
That's all.
Oh.
So listen, um, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Um, nothing. Why?
Well, uh, there's this thing.
A party thing.
Hmm, well, there's always a party thing.
Who's throwing it?
Caleb.
Party at Caleb's.
That sounds awesome!
Yes, maybe a little shuffleboard,
a little bingo.
I just thought you'd help keep me company, that's all.
Sure, no problem.
Oh, sorry, it's Zach.
Hey.
Yeah.
Crab Shack sounds perfect.
My stomach is about to eat itself.
No, I haven't seen Cohen. Why?
Well, he always smells kind of weird,
but what do you mean?
What?
He asked you what?
Ew. Oh...
my... God. Yeah, okay.
Bye.
Hmm, lunch is going to have to wait, Coop.
I have to go kick Cohen's pervy little ass.
Hey, Ross, it's good to see you.
And thanks for making the trek all the way from L.A.
No problem.
Any excuse to get out of the office.
How's Kirsten?
She's fine.
Despite the nice chat she had last night
with two of your colleagues.
You think I sent them?
Come on.
They asked me to inquire about Rebecca Bloom.
People got curious.
Well, fair enough.
So what did you find out?
Even if she turns herself in, cooperates,
she's still going to do serious time.
Even if we can prove she wasn't there?
A man died, Sandy.
And it was her key that let him in the lab.
What did you expect?
The judge is just going to let her walk?
No chance.
Can we talk as friends for a second?
I thought we were.
I did my homework.
You were involved with Rebecca Bloom.
I was.
Over 20 years ago.
That's right.
A woman who's been on the run for 20 years
suddenly meets this white knight
from her past who wants to help her.
You have any idea what you're getting yourself into?
Of course I do.
Her father was a dear friend of mine.
I owe him.
What about what you owe your family?
Your wife?
You think you know this woman, you don't.
She could bring you down.
Well, thanks for your help.
And keep your people away from my wife.
Hi, Renee, right?
Lindsay's mom?
I'm Julie Cooper Nicole. Caleb's wife.
Uh, how can I help you?
Well, actually, I thought I could help you.
It's this adoption business.
I wanted to give you a heads up.
It looks like Caleb is going to ask for a DNA test after all.
What?
Look, no one is suggesting that Caleb isn't the father.
I mean, after all you would have said something, right?
All these years you've been taking his money.
God, otherwise,
that would be like fraud, wouldn't it?
What exactly are you implying?
Oh, nothing, nothing at all.
Just, well, if you do have any doubts
about how the test might affect Lindsay,
maybe this adoption isn't such a great idea.
I'm sure you could come up with a diplomatic way
to talk her out of it.
Yep, thank you for your advice, but if you don't mind...
Mom, who's there?
Julie.
Lindsay.
I just came by to remind your mom
about the party tomorrow night.
I hope she can make it.
I'll try.
You do that.
Well, anyway, I should run.
You two take care.
What a cute little house.
We should put garlic up in case she comes back.
Definitely.
Yeah?
You asked my boyfriend if we had sex?
Ew! What is wrong with you!?
All right, I'm sorry.
That is so creepy! Do you know how creepy that is?
Hey, stop hitting me with the pillow! Ow!
Seriously, what is wrong with you?
What's wrong with me?
Summer, look at me.
Since I got back from San Diego,
I've eaten, like, seven raisins
and a pack of corn nuts.
I haven't showered.
I slept like four hours in the last five nights.
Cohen. What?
Look, Zach is my boyfriend. You're not.
That part of my life does not belong to you.
Yeah, I know that, okay? I know.
It's weird and it's creepy,
I know and I'm sorry.
I'm... very sorry.
Well, good.
You should be.
You're ripping up your drawings?
Yeah. Why not?
I'm only saying this for the people
that have to live with you.
Take a shower, Cohen.
Zach and I didn't have sex.
Hi.
I had a feeling I'd see you again.
You want to come in?
I'm really sorry about your father.
Thank you.
Sandy didn't tell me you were coming by.
Are you in love with my husband?
Wow...
...direct.
I'm guessing Sandy doesn't know you're here.
I'm sorry, I just...
Um, yes, I am.
I always have been.
Wow, direct.
If you came by to find out if anything's happened between us,
the answer is no.
I'm really sorry for everything that you've had to go through.
But while you've been running,
we've been building a family, a life,
and he's putting all that in danger
for you.
So you've just got to ask yourself,
how much are you willing to let him sacrifice?
Miss Wheeler.
Ryan, hi.
Is Kirsten or Sandy here?
No, but if you want to wait.
Actually, I was hoping to talk to you.
I need you to help me talk Lindsay out of the adoption.
What?
She won't listen to me.
She thinks I'm jealous.
Then we got into this fight.
I mean, we never fight.
Just, if you talk to her...
Why would she listen to me?
Because she trusts you.
You know what She's like.
I don't know.
I mean, I know what you mean about Caleb,
but he has seemed different since his heart attack.
You know, Lindsay wants this so badly.
What is it?
If she goes though with it, Caleb is going to ask for a DNA test.
Does Lindsay know?
Not yet.
I love my daughter, Ryan, and I...
I don't regret anything I've done, but...
she can't take that test.
Is...
is Caleb...
He...
I really don't know
Sandy, thanks for coming in.
I don't know, Cal.
Meeting in an empty office on a Sunday--
it looks suspicious.
What I have to talk to you about is very private.
Who wants to arrest you now?
The DEA? Immigration? The Park Service?
You've been poaching elk at Yosemite?
What can you tell me about getting a DNA test?
No.
The adoption party is in eight hours.
Well, the papers won't come through for a couple weeks.
Surely that's enough time.
So you didn't do a test when Renee got pregnant?
No, I didn't.
It was an affair.
I was trying to save my marriage.
The last thing I wanted was a medical record of my infidelity.
For 17 years, you've been fine paying the bills.
Now on the day you're going to announce it to the world,
all of a sudden you want proof.
How do you think Lindsay's going to take this?
I would think she'd want to know the truth as much as I do.
Cut it out.
She thinks she's getting a father, not a blood test.
If you brought me here for my legal opinion,
here it is.
Ask for the test.
Now, you're a wealthy man with a large family,
You'd be irresponsible to do otherwise.
But as a father,
I say ask yourself if you love the girl.
If you do,
nothing else matters.
Hello. Hey.
I know you weren't expecting me until later, but...
What's going on?
Oh, party got started a little early.
I thought they weren't coming until tonight.
But, um, hey, everyone,
this is Marissa.
Hey.
Hi.
Come in. Let me get you a drink.
Oh, no. You know, I actually can't stay.
What are you talking about?
Well, I just came by to say hi.
I'll call you later.
It was nice meeting you.
Marissa, what are you doing?
Stay.
No, no, I can't. I'm gonna be late.
But wait, You're going to come back later, right?
Because I really, really want you to meet my friends,
and that in there didn't really count.
Well, I'll try, but Caleb's having this party at our house.
Wait. You're ditching me for Caleb?
Well, not just Caleb.
I mean, my mom will be there, too.
Oh, wow. Now it's Caleb and your mom?
Listen, Marissa,
I understand if you're freaked out.
That's okay, you just have to tell me.
But this hanging with your parents? That's not you.
I'll just be there for a little while, okay?
I'll just go, score some points.
That way, they can't bitch
when I come and see you, right?
Yeah.
Have fun at your party.
Tell Caleb and Julie I said hi.
Mm. Zach, hey. Over here.
Hey, thanks for coming.
No problem.
Mm, I meant to wait, but I'm starving.
You look like you're feeling better.
Yeah, I am, I am.
Um, listen, I just wanted
to apologize about the other day, okay?
I feel like I was out of line.
No, Seth, it's okay, man.
I don't blame you. But the fact is
Summer and I didn't have sex in San Diego.
Zach, shh.
I don't think we should talk about this.
No, I know, it's just...
You know, after you asked me, I started thinking about it.
And it's like there we were, you know,
the two of us in a hotel room on Valentine's Day.
It seemed like the perfect moment, so why did I hold back?
I mean, I know why I held back.
It's this no-sex-before-marriage thing,
which, not that I'm like a crazy religious guy or anything like that,
it's just...
I don't know, it's always something
I sort of believed in.
But I thought you and the tutor...
No, no, I didn't say we had sex, man.
I was 14, she was 30.
But look, Seth, what you made me realize is,
I wasn't waiting for marriage.
I was just waiting for the perfect moment.
A harmony of girl and place.
Yeah, oh, harm-harmony. Fine.
I mean, I liked the hotel room in San Diego,
but a villa in Tuscany?
I mean, that's pretty perfect.
That's awesome.
So what you're saying is, then, that when you two go to Italy,
you'll achieve, uh, this... harmony.
Look, I just want
to be straightforward with you, Seth, okay
so you can plan your freakout accordingly.
If you want to punch me in the face right now,
I'd be okay with that.
Enjoy.
I'm going to go home and watch some VH-1.
I think Best Week Ever is on.
Hey.
Mmm... Mmm...
Thanks for meeting me.
Yeah, I was happy to get out of the house.
My mom and I got in this huge fight,
so I figured I'd get ready for the party at my dad's.
What's up?
Ah, I just wanted to talk to you for a minute before everything.
Are you sure this adoption's the best idea?
What?
I know, I mean, I know Caleb seems like he's changed,
and I know I've said this before,
but it just seems like it's a little fast.
This is, uh, great.
First my mom, and now you.
What is everyone's problem?
He's my dad.
He wants to adopt me.
Just give it a little more time.
Why?
So, what, we can go bowling? Attend a father-daughter picnic?
I've been waiting for 17 years.
Forget it. I just...
You think it's fast that, uh... that I don't know Caleb,
that Julie's evil-- I've heard it all.
What else is there?
What don't I know, Ryan?
( sighing )
I've got to go.
Lindsay.
You know, tonight's probably one of the most
important nights of my life,
and I only want people there who support me.
So, guys, what's the big mystery?
Why are we all gathered here?
Well, If I told you,
it would no longer be a mystery, would it?
Excuse me.
You should get another glass of champagne
'cause this is one surprise
you won't already find posted on the Internet.
Is it weird that nobody knows why they're here?
That's my dad.
He loves a surprise announcement.
Well, you know, I haven't seen your mom yet.
Oh, yeah, um, she's not coming.
Oh, no, is she okay with everything?
Kirsten, is Sandy here yet?
No, not yet. He's coming with the boys. Why?
Oh, there's something I want to discuss with him.
Business.
It's a really nice party.
Yeah, thanks. Enjoy yourselves.
Well, looks like everyone's
a little nervous.
Hey, Rebecca, I brought you some Chinese.
Seriously, what was I thinking?
That Summer was in the hotel room saying, "No, Zach, I can't.
I'm still in love with Seth"?
Well, weren't you?
That's kind of a rhetorical question. Thanks.
Why don't you come to the party, get your mind off it?
My mind off the fact
that Summer and Zach are going to Tuscany to have sex
and fall even more in love than they already are?
You're right.
Why don't I stay here? We can hang out.
Dude, you can't skip the party.
Why not? Lindsay doesn't really want me there.
Of course she does.
Besides, you know what? I'm fine now.
I really am.
I finally realized that
it's over between me and Summer.
I'm just venting.
You think maybe you should be venting this to Summer?
Hell, no.
Last time I tried to talk to her about things,
she nearly decapitated me with my favorite pillow.
I'm just saying, if you want closure.
No, I think closure's overrated.
I'm more of a fan of open-ended, unrequited love.
Okay, fine. I'll go talk to her.
But if I don't come back alive, my blood is on your hands.
My blood, your hands.
I'm going to go now.
It'll never wash off.
Your hands.
( knocking at door )
Come in.
Well, there you are.
What's up with inviting someone to a party
and then hiding in your room?
Sorry.
I just couldn't face it.
Where's Zach?
I don't know. Confession?
What's wrong?
Remember how I said that in San Diego,
Zach was full of surprises?
Well, surprise.
Zach doesn't believe in sex before marriage.
What?
Yeah. But now, apparently,
he's changed his mind.
And guess who's going to romantic Tuscany next week?
Well, I mean, that's okay, isn't it?
You said you wanted to.
Well, I did.
It's just that when we were about to...
there was this voice in my head.
Seth?
And I couldn't get rid of him.
( chuckles )
Ooh! And then Zach said
he couldn't have sex,
and I didn't want to explain it,
so I made him believe that I still wanted to.
But now...
Well, hey, look, tell him you changed your mind.
Zach will understand.
I know. I should just trust him.
I mean, he at least deserves that, right?
Right?
I've been dating Alex.
What?
I mean, Alex and I, we've been dating.
What?!
Just for a couple of weeks.
Alex?
Seth's Alex?
Mm-hmm. Girl Alex?
Yeah.
Huh.
Well, who knows?
Uh, just you.
Oh, so you and Alex.
Uh-huh.
So, are you...
are you like a...
No. No, I don't know. I was just...
I really like her.
Well, she is pretty hot.
Hey, look, you don't have to say anything.
I just...
I really needed to tell you.
We're still friends, right?
Of course we are.
Come here.
Oh...
This isn't turning you on, right?
( laughs )
Miss Wheeler?
What are you doing here?
I have to tell her.
Uh...
All right.
I'll go get her.
Bring her out, it'll be less public that way.
Ryan.
Hey, you came.
Hey.
Of course I did.
Um, everyone's out by the pool.
Oh, great. Uh, wait.
Can you, um...
Can you come out front with me for a second?
What? It's your mom.
She... she's here.
Sh-She wants to talk to you.
So what, are you and my mom working as a team now?
She's upset, all right? Uh-huh.
Okay, well, um...
since you're just here delivering messages,
you can let her know that in a few minutes,
my dad is announcing he's adopting me
and I'd really like it if she was there.
But if she's not,
at least I have one parent who supports me.
Okay, you can't... you can't let him adopt you.
What are you talking about?
He might not be your dad.
What?
Your mom told me yesterday.
I just didn't know how to say anything.
No, that's not true.
I'm sorry. No.
Stop it. Lindsay.
Stop it.
Why are you doing this?
Hello, folks.
Hey. Will you excuse us for a second?
Excuse me.
Is everything okay?
You tell me.
Rebecca is gone.
What did you say to her?
What?
You went to see her, what did you say to her?
Sandy, this isn't the time or the place.
"Sandy, I talked to Kirsten.
I can't allow you to put your family at risk."
You have no idea what you've done.
Don't put this on me.
You could've gotten her another lawyer.
You could've sent her to another town.
But you couldn't let go.
I was trying to clear her name.
Tell me what you said.
I asked her if she was in love with you
and she said she was.
And you knew it.
You knew it the whole time.
I can't help how she feels.
It's not how I feel!
Sandy, you're asking me to believe you, trust you.
So do you trust me?
At the moment, I'm not so sure.
Then we have much bigger problems.
Yes.
Hi.
Sorry, I was looking for you.
Won't you sit down?
I-I just thought, maybe we could make the announcement now,
you know, just... just get it over with.
I mean, that's...
It's all right, isn't it?
Lindsay, sit. Please.
Or, um...
we can wait a little.
That's... that's fine, too.
I know how much that you've been looking forward to this day.
But I've been thinking.
I believe that it would be best for everyone
if we postponed
this adoption.
What?
Why?
What did I do?
Nothing.
But you have to understand,
for a man in my position,
why I would require that we do a few... tests
for safety.
You don't think I'm your daughter.
Have you talked to my mom?
Lindsay, I need you to...
No, she's just afraid.
She doesn't know you like I do.
And she'll say anything to keep this from happening.
You are misreading my intentions.
This doesn't mean that I don't want to adopt you.
It's just that I... I believe in taking every precaution,
and I insist that we do,
for everyone's sake.
I don't need to take a test.
'Cause I know that my real dad would not treat me this way.
Lindsay...
Oh, honey.
You stay here.
I'll cover for you, okay?
RYAN: Lindsay!
Linds...!
( panting )
Excuse me, may I have your attention please?
Thank you.
I know you're all wondering
why we've asked you here this evening.
Well, it is my pleasure to announce
that the Newport Group, under my leadership,
is about to launch it's very own lifestyle magazine.
( applause )
Newport Living will profile
hot Orange County trends, events and fashion,
as determined by me and my staff of...
Well, me.
( chuckling )
( applause )
Thank you. Thank you so much for coming.
Hi.
Where is everyone?
Oh, um, turns out I wasn't really in the mood for a party,
so the girls went out.
How was Caleb's?
Pretty much awful.
Listen, I got freaked out.
I know.
It's just, I tried to tell Summer and I couldn't.
Oh.
Yeah.
And then I came here, thinking we'd talk about it.
And you got even more freaked out.
I just figured if I can't even tell my best friend, then...
maybe I'm not ready for this.
So you're here to break up with me?
Then I told her.
Wait, you told Summer about-ahout us?
Mm-hmm.
So, where'd your friends go?
Seriously?
You still want me to meet them, don't you?
MAN ON TV: Relationships are like geese.
They fly north in the winter.
It's so true.
WOMAN ON TV: What are you talking about? ( knocking )
Huh, what?
I was talking metaphorically.
Maybe it's unnatural to expect a relationship...
Cohen.
What are you doing here?
I thought I told you to shower.
Yeah, I just came by so you can get one long, final look
since you will never ever see me like this again.
Gee, promise?
Yeah, I do. Listen.
I was under the illusion
that there may still be something here, but...
I know now that it was Zach
who didn't want to have sex in San Diego,
so I suffered for nothing.
Have a great time in Italy.
Have all the fun you want.
I'm cool with it. I'm over you.
Well, good.
Good, 'cause, um, well, I think that's where we both need to be.
I do, too.
Which is, you know, why I came down here.
I just wanted to...
lay it all out.
Well, I'm glad you did.
Because now I can leave, knowing that you're okay.
Yeah, I'm fine.
So, um... ( clears throat )
parting amicably, which is good, it's nice.
See ya, Cohen.
Yeah, all right.
See ya, Summer.
Hey, uh...
Huh?
Send me a postcard.
Okay.
Hey.
Hi. Hi.
Is your mother home?
No.
What are you watching?
Hellboy. Hellboy.
Oh. What's it about?
See, Hellboy was adopted by this scientist
and raised to be a hero...
But...
turns out his destiny is to open the gates of hell, so...
So, he tries to do good,
but he usually ends up destroying everything.
Wow, that's my kind of hero.
So... how was your night?
Uh, sucked. Summer hates me.
And yours?
Lindsay hates me.
Well, how about some Chinese?
Take the edge off.
I can't. It... It's...
Yeah.
Me neither.